Why People Are Not Happy
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
, Posted by Unknown at 10:56 AM
Our minds are tricky little creatures. They tend to accentuate the bad, dwell on it and blow it out to inhumane proportions. If we were to look objectively at most of our problems, we will see that they are very minute. Our ego has an innate desire for substance and pandering so it will take the slightest thing and make It larger than life. This causes undue stress, strains relationships and makes you unhappy.
We don’t realize this is habitual. We accentuate negativity because that is how we have been conditioned through religion, culture and society. If we grew up in a household that blew everything out of proportion we are likely to carry that personality. Happiness seems nondescript.
Many folk hold on to states of happiness like they are a rare jewel. They have come to accept states of negativity and struggle as a natural part of life. Happiness is regarded as an added bonus, to be held like a butterfly. What happens? We grab on to it so hard and don’t let it go, it eventually dies, putting us back in the spiral of negativity.
It’s funny how we put very little effort to bring ourselves into a state of stress and unhappiness. It’s like a triggered response. Once the switch goes on, our emotions are on auto drive, synchronized to the key, the barrage comes flowing in, one thought after another, a tantrum here, a burst of anger there.
What if, with a little mental shift, we switch this barrage of emotions from negativity to happiness. Sounds easy enough, right? The situations we face in life have no negative or positive charge until we assign one to it.
Those emotions that pander to our ego and make us feel good, we associate positively. Those that don’t are negatively associated. Simple equation, but why is that when we face negative circumstances, we put ourselves through a cycle of self-loathing, self-battering emotional wreck? There is no need to amplify our tough times any further.
The key here is acceptance. Emotions naturally come and go. If we dwell on them they take on an identity of their own. Negative emotions will warp into an unstoppable demon. We should just accept the negativity and move on. When we do this we train ourselves to be mindful. Eventually positive emotions will arise, we accept them as such and move on. By not giving heed or taking them personally we choose to disassociate ourselves with their weight. We are free.
Happiness is not a state of mind. It’s not subjective or based on outcomes. It’s an everyday natural occurrence. We choose not to accept it, because accentuating the negative makes us feel more alive, wanted and needed. Putting out a tantrum, you tell yourself “hey, look at me, look at what I am going through.” It's all about “me” and true happiness does not dwell in such selfishness.
To be truly happy, we observe. Take everything life throws at us in stride, because at the end of the day we are still here. As we do this, the little things we take for granted start to come alive. You begin to notice the beauty in nature, the value of your friends and a “true” connection with your loved ones. We fail to grasp its simple nature because we are always wrought up in the negativity of our lives. We are addicted to our struggle.
This struggle gives us a sense of meaning and identity. We have a footprint, people will take notice.Unfortunately it is this addiction that keeps us from happiness. Even when its thrown right in front of us, we cease to grasp it because we are so involved in our struggle. Happiness is right there, it has always been there. It’s not subjective nor is it judgmental. No one deserves happiness because that would imply we have to undergo a certain “struggle” to get there.
Happiness is all encompassing, available to anyone and everyone. When we accentuate the negative in our life, we give happiness an exalted status – that’s why people cling to it. Happiness is a normal state just like everything else. Let’s give it some attention for a change and see how it changes our lives.
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