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1. Married 23 Times – Linda WolfeLinda Wolfe of Anderson, Indiana, has been married 23 times and holds the title of world’s most married person. Good for her. Marriage is a wonderful thing, right? You get to have a wedding. People get together and dance. We’d hate to be her sister, though. Being the bridesmaid and not the bride once is painful enough, but 23 times? Just grimace your way through the speeches, sister.

2. Watching Television for 72 Hours – Suresh Joachim

We’re pretty sure this record has been broken before. It’s just never been reported. Sri Lankan native Suresh Joachim outsmarted every couch potato in the world by having Guinness observe him as he watched 72 hours of TV straight – something most of us do in private. If he was smart, he avoided QVC completely, because he’d have to look away if he wanted to order that real funny one-a-day kitten quotation calendar. Cats! They’re just like us!

3. Sitting in Bathtub with 87 Rattlesnakes – Jackie Bibby

Ever been relaxing in your bathtub and hear a hiss and think, “OH MY GOD THIS BATHTUB IS FULL OF RATTLESNAKES!” only to realize that it was just one your lavender-scented Pier 1 candles going out? Well, Jackie Bibby doesn’t have that problem. The Texas-bred serpentine-lover loves getting nice and comfortable with our scale-bellied friends in the most intimate way. We’re pretty sure that the only reason the snakes are cool with it is because Bibby puts some John Tesh on the CD player before he slips in. That guy is a modern day snake-charmer.

4. Eating 200 Earthworms in 30 Seconds – C. Manoharan

Here’s something to think about: there’s a record for eating a bucketful of earthworms and there’s also a record for eating that bucketful quickly. That’s two separate records for eating worms. C. Manoharan of India holds the record for swallowing 200 earthworms in 30 seconds (completely unaided by ketchup or tartar sauce). He also tried to set a record by flossing two snakes through one nostril but failed – possibly because he realized how greedy he was being.

5. Holding Breath for 13 Minutes and 42.5 Seconds – Robert Foster

USA! USA! American purebred Robert Foster holds the record for longest breath-holding at a whopping 13 minutes and 42.5 seconds. And to make this even more impressive, he did it back in 1959 way before we had all these newfangled breath-extension technologies. It just goes to show you, America is really good at a lot of things. No one can beat us when it comes to controlling our breath. Just look at Kenny G.

6. 75 Beer Glasses Balanced on Chin – Ashrita Furman

If you’re ever eager to get kicked out of a bar super fast, tell the manager that you’re world-record holder Ashrita Furman. After he gives you 75 pint beer glasses, make a huge speech about how you managed to do this for 10 seconds in New York almost ten years ago, but tonight you’re going to do it for 11… then fail miserably. Just shatter those glasses with zero impunity. If there’s anyone there who reads every edition of the Guinness Book of World Records, they’ll eat it up. (Not the glass, the act. Unless, of course, they hold the record for eating glass.) Furman is known for holding multiple records. Although he has set 328 official world records since 1979, he currently holds only 126.

READ: 15 Best Beers From Around the World

7. 124 One-Finger Push-Ups – Paul Henry Allen Lynch

My dad’s a lawyer. What’s your dad do?

He goes from town to town doing one-finger push-ups.

Wow, that’s much cooler than what my dad does. Your dad makes my dad look like a total chump.

8. Stretching Skin to 6.25 inches – Garry Turner

Garry Turner, of the Lincolnshire Turners, went on national television and stretched the skin of his stomach to 6.25 inches for the sole purpose of showing the world he could do it. One can only imagine that there were a lot of people watching at home that were holding onto their stomachs as they watched, either because they wanted to throw up or because they quietly suspected they could probably beat that record.

9. 19 People Inside a Soap Bubble – Sam Heath

This country has been suffering ever since the real-estate bubble burst. But that doesn’t mean that all bubbles are bad, right? How can you hold anything against a giant soap bubble? That’s right, you can’t! Sam Heath set the world record for most people inside a single bubble when he used his giant bubble wand to encapsulate 19 people inside. Witnesses say Sam then cast a magical spell, the bubble popped, and its inhabitants disappeared. Just kidding. It popped, everyone clapped politely, and people talked about it for maybe three days.

10. Squirting Milk from the Eye – Mike Moraal

If you want to be like Mike Moraal of British Columbia and squirt milk from your eye 2.6 meters, you’ll have your name in the ol’ G-books for… probably forever. But you should never tell your date that you did it, and you should definitely never try to do it while you’re dining at the Olive Garden. Wait until you get home at least. No one likes eye milk on their never-ending salad bowl.